Oh…my God, my friends and I are so funny! It’s crazy. We’re like, always making jokes and stuff. We go out for ‘tinis after work every Friday and it is sooo much fun. We’re just like the girls from Sex and the City (I’m Carey).
Last week, my friend Jules (Julia) texted me and said all the girls were getting together at this very chic sushi bar downtown for sushi and ‘tinis. So, I finally found a pair of shoes that looked sexy but wouldn’t give me blisters and I met everyone downtown. Before I could say Sixteen Candles I was in the most hilarious conversation you’ve ever heard. The topics ranged from how ridiculous tampon commercials are to how much it sucks to shop for a swimsuit to hating our moms to the fact that we used to put Aquanet in our hair! Can you believe it? Aquanet! Sooo funny! It was so white trash, but in a totally 80s way, I love it!
Then we talked about how it sucks to get panties wadded up in our vaginas. We even used the word vagina, in front of a bunch of total strangers. Some of them were complete prudes and made weird faces at us but what do we care? We’re fabulous. And I think it was my friend Kristin who nearly made us pee our pants with her totally original comment about how under-wires can be uncomfortable. Riiight? Totally.
Then Kat (Katrina) was like, oh…my God. I’m totally dating this guy who wears briefs. What’s that about? What is this, like, 1982? You’ve got to be kidding me. So then this group of guys walks over and totally starts hitting on us. It was so obvious, too. They were all like “Hey ladies.” And we were all like “We don’t want to talk to you stupid boys. We’re fabulous.” And they were like, “whatever” and walked off. So then we were like “we should totally have more ‘tinis.”
So after we got the next round of ‘tinis we had this great conversation about how cum tastes. Needless to say, there were some not-so-cosmopolitan people in the table next to us who didn’t want to hear independent single women talk about sex. It is so funny to talk loudly and vulgarly about sex in a public place near people who don’t want to hear you talk loudly and vulgarly about sex. They’re all like “you girls are whores.” And we’re all like, “fuck off.”
After that Kristin threw up and got puke in her hair so we were asked to leave, but other than that the night was totally glam.